Author: The Narrator

I murdered a pigeon the other morning. I didn't mean to. I was just driving along, minding my own business, listening to a Lou Bega song that had just come on the radio. Then all of a sudden I see this large, kinda bluish chunk of (I thought) debris getting kicked across two lanes of… Continue reading Dead Pigeons

So I am insanely excited about the fact I am two payments away from completely paying off my student loans. For a 30-something, this is an event tantamount to one's wedding day or the birth of one's child, except weddings and children are damned expensive and the eradication of loan debt means HOLY SHIT I… Continue reading Half-Truisms

Today is a day that should have been spent holed up in a blanket fort. So Dee made a Robot Me for his playthrough of Fallout the other day. It's pretty sweet. It has claw hands that look kind of like Lego people claws, but they also have a taser-like shock thing to them so… Continue reading Nice Guys Finish Last

So the decision was made a few weeks back to attempt to capture and domesticate a feral cat we've taken to calling Little Friend. Little Friend was one of a litter of kittens born under our back deck shortly after we moved into the house. While the others wandered off after they got big enough,… Continue reading The Best Laid Plans

I don't believe in New Year's resolutions. That isn't the same as saying I don't believe in reflection and taking steps to better oneself; far from it. I'm just the type that does that sort of reflection throughout the year and then sets immediate timelines for working towards those goals, for until action is taken,… Continue reading Resolutions

One of my favorite authors ever is the American short story writer William Sydney Porter, better known by his nom de plume of O. Henry. Even if you haven't read his work, you've almost certainly seen some adaptation of one of his most famous stories, The Gift of the Magi. The story is simple. A young… Continue reading The Ghosts of Christmas Presents

It is Christmas morning, 1989, and my sister and I are beside ourselves with glee. Santa came last night. We had heard the sleigh bells jingling long after our parents had tucked us into bed, faintly at first, then progressively louder as it seemed to get near. I could remember whispering excitedly as it got… Continue reading A Christmas Mystery