It seems like everyone around me is popping out kids nowadays. I don’t think this is necessarily a bad thing, but I have switched from drinking water to downing hard cider as a general precaution – not to avoid having children myself, but more to brace myself against the incessant Facebook posts about the ongoing development of Mommy’s Little Miracle. It’s one thing if there’s a serious health issue that may affect the child, but quite another when the parents use the wee one as a proxy to garner attention. One can only take so much.
One of the most interesting phenomena about this late-20’s baby boom are the friends who, despite all the advancements of technology that allow us to plan ahead, choose not to confirm whether their child will come out a boy or a girl, but instead speculate about the outcome for seven or eight months. People, this is the 21st century. If you can’t be bothered to say “yes” when your OB-GYN asks whether you want the test results, then I can’t be bothered to battle through Babies-R-Us to find gifts. ‘Nuff said.
I am, however, entertained by some of the superstitions surrounding pregnancy and childbirth, in particular some of the rituals to “ensure” the child is conceived as one sex or the other (especially when one parent prefers one sex while the other parent is rooting for the opposite. For fans of How I Met Your Mother, the episode where Marshall and Lily start trying to conceive their baby? I’ve seen that play out in real life, and it was just as ridiculous). Here are some of my favorites:
ON WHETHER A WOMAN IS PREGNANT
- The woman or her friend dreams of fish
- A woman sees her reflection in her boiled urine (that one dates from 1639, and begs the question, what were women doing boiling their pee???)
ON THE SEX OF THE CHILD
- To conceive a boy, make sure your head is pointing north; for a girl, point the head south.
- Sleeping to the left of your partner encourages a boy (side thought – as the Latin for “left” is “sinister,” does that help account for the notion that little boys are generally naughty?)
- If you notice your feet are colder than usual, you’re carrying a boy.
- Also, having more headaches than usual portends a boy.
OTHER FUNKY PREDICTIONS
- If you went swimming on the first day you were married, twins are in your future. Ha! We’re planning for quints, so that we’re relieved when we’re told it’s only triplets.
- Seeing a wasps’ nest attached to your dwelling is very good luck and bodes well for a quick and easy delivery. Oh, well. GRAB THE RAID!!!
- Similarly, scorpion bites during pregnancy are supposedly lucky. Umm…
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